The playground is barren and the sidewalks are bare.  The melodious sounds of children laughing and playing are no longer dancing in the air.  Fingers are tapping with eyes fixed open wide, immersed in a seemingly silent conversation, a child’s new playground is inside – the Internet, to be exact. How long has your child been living in this virtual world and do you know what he’s doing?

Today’s children are growing up in a digital age; they are known as the “digital generation.”. A mere decade ago parents only had to watch their children in the physical world, and this was no easy task.  Today, at the click of a button, children can connect with complete strangers around the world.  Keeping an eye on children in the virtual world can be an impossible task if one isn’t equipped with the digital media know-how to do so.  While the Web, as an informational superhighway, has many social and educational benefits, risks – serious risks – exist as well.  (And, I can assure you, after a year of doctoral-level research into the benefits and risks of digital media effects on children and teens, that I have grave concerns about the health and well-being on our children.  Because of their digital media diets, their consumption, according to research, is saturated with unsupervised communication that crosses age appropriate barriers.)

Like a spider weaving a web to catch its prey, so the “WWW” can be compared when it comes to those vulnerable to its grasp.  There is a school of thought floating out there right now that suggests “…children are increasingly sophisticated, mature and media savvy…[and] efforts to shield youth from media are too protectionist in nature…[therefore] children should be empowered to take control on their own media experiences” (Children, Adolescents, and the Media, 2009, p.10).  I choose not to believe this mindset.  Children are vulnerable and naïve.  They do not have the cognitive or emotional capacity to process mature forms of communication in messages as do adults.  This, coupled with the fact that media use is at an all-time high, should raise a few red flags.

So, what are kids spending their time in this alternate universe doing?  According to research, the average U.S. child between the ages of 8 and 18 spends almost seven hours a day using media, in terms of exposure.  Of this media consumption, television viewing still takes the number one category for media usage among this age group, despite emerging technologies.  One out of five children, according to a national study, are reported to watch more than five hours of television a day.  A lack of parental supervision and mediation is much to blame for this gluttonous, in terms of a media diet, behavior.  To no surprise, after reading these numbers, a reported 53% of children reported to have no rules in their home about what they can watch or how often and for how long they can watch it.  And of those reporting having rules regarding television viewing, some 23% share that rules are not generally enforced.

In an age where youth are continually confronted with an evolving media environment, where new technologies are emerging daily, and existing technologies are merging and becoming more interactive, parents need to be aware of the latest trends, some of which include grave dangers.  It’s no longer about keeping your doors locked to protect your family from the evils of the world; danger can now lurk from within, even in your children’s very bedrooms.  Does your child have a television in his bedroom?  Does he have a cell phone with privileges that allows him to use the his phone in his bedroom?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, pay extra close attention to what I am about to share in this in-depth look at children, adolescents, and the media. As we explore the lure of advertising, media violence, sexuality, drugs, rock music and music videos, eating disorders, and video games, we will see how this affects the individual and the family.

This article seeks to educate and inform the body about the digital media environment that poses risks to threaten the very core of what we work so hard to protect – our children.  The conclusion of this series will offer parenting advice, in relation to parenting in the twenty-first century, and media usage advice.

We are charged with the task to raise our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).  We read in Matthew 6:22-23, “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.  But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness.  If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great [is] that darkness!”  Be forewarned that much exists today in this world, and virtual world, that your children may have access to that dwells in darkness.  Please stay tuned for part two of this discussion.  Yahweh bless!

By: Amy Pletz

Are your children full from their media consumption, or are they craving more? When is too much, just plain ole’ too much? Do you know what your children are viewing and participating in online when you are not around (and, if you think you know the answer … are you sure)?

In part one of this piece we chatted about what it means to grow up in a digital generation and defined today’s typical teen media consumption (what is being consumed). Now, it’s time to bring these facts home and make a difference and keep you in the know. Our children are precious jewels given to us by the King and placed in our charge, as parents to raise and prepare for the coming Kingdom. Let us not minimize the “power” of the web, including its content, ability to connect people, and exposure to “unclean” things.

If you were flipping through channels on the television as a family and a show came on with highly sexualized material, would you turn it? What about a program that glorifies homosexuality? What about a show with teens acting disrespectfully, even if through sarcasm and comedy? Today on the television I am shocked to see children dressing like immoral adults and behaving with intense disrespect toward their parents and other authority figures, like teachers. I am the mother of five children, one son and four daugh­ters. My two oldest daughters admit they struggle with societal pressures to act or look a certain way, mainly pressures they experience in school, and that so often thrive online. It is my chal­lenge and responsibility to raise my children in a way that they find peace and strength in living for Yahweh, according to the Word. I continually tell them that the road to the Kingdom is not easy, but the reward is amazing.

Some would suggest cutting off the Internet to protect and ensure safety. Yes, this is an option. I choose to allow this medium of communication in my home, but the rules are not one-size-fits-all. My oldest is allowed the most freedom, but I watch her openly and I know her passwords. My two 12-year-olds are allowed to visit pre-approved websites, and this occurs in a public area, like the rec room. My two youngest enjoy the Internet and only visit sites we have pre-approved and saved as shortcuts on the desktop; this minimizes the possibility of surfing the web and seeing inap­propriate content. It’s not a perfect system, but it works for us right now.

I have long learned to be flexible and keep my eyes open, always ready to make a change for the safety and welfare of the family. And if a rule is broken there are consequences, generally start­ing with a hands-off the Internet for a substantial period of time. I just feel that while there are negative aspects of the Internet, there are also many pluses. For example, my oldest likes Facebook, a much debated social platform, a meeting place for “friends” to get together and share information and pictures. I monitor her on Facebook for safety reasons and to “see” what she is up to, which serves as the topic for many conversations, which I consider a big plus.

Honestly, even sites she has “liked,” that I ultimately make her “unlike” because they are too mature, we talk about. I exercise my role as mom and mentor and walk her through the reasons why it’s inappropriate and displeasing to Yahweh. I cherish these teaching moments. Living over a thousand miles away from much of our family isn’t easy emotionally, and Facebook is a way for us to stay in touch, so this is one of those plus factors. On the flipside, my oldest tells me stories of folks she knows, children her age even, who swear online and post crude pictures. She knows she has the ability to unfriend them on the site, block content, or comment and serve as a witness to the Word.

The Internet is here to stay. It has truly become an exten­sion of the “real” world. I want to teach my children to use the Internet for the good it offers and how to be “street smart” and stay safe at the same time. I am also very much aware that the Internet is a real danger. Here are some tips I employ in my home to guide my children in their healthy consumption of media, specifically browsing online:

1. Limit your child’s media intake to a certain amount of time per day, and stick to it.
2. Have Internet access in public/common areas only, unless you feel your child has the maturity and understanding to have Internet access in private spaces. And, even if you choose the latter, still monitor usage.
3. Chat regularly with your children about their online interests and comings and goings.
4. Don’t allow any form of media to take away from family time. For example, in our home, cell phones don’t come to mealtime.
5. Perhaps the most important rule: clearly define your expecta­tions and rules of conduct for your children. It’s best to do this initially and then ongoing as gentle reminders. If your children have friends over, make sure they know the house rules of media consumption.
6. If you see your child viewing something that is questionable, use it as a teaching moment and talk about it. Sometimes advertise­ments appear on web pages that viewers have no control over—you will need to decide how you will react to this. Again, it’s best to have a plan ahead of time.
7. Be consistent. I love this rule for parenting in general. If you have rules and expectations, stick with them. Be consistent. Don’t get lax when it comes to parenting in the virtual world. Yes, it’s more work, but it’s important.

While this world is ever changing, Yahweh changes not. Media has evolved so much in the past century that it’s hard to tell fiction from reality at times, and the creators of this media are becoming so cunningly creative and persuasive … but, you can choose to be strong in the Word. Do not compromise your Father’s principles for a righteous walk. We can use the Internet as a tool for phenomenal witness, spreading the Word to the nations. We can use the Internet as a tool to reach out to friends and family in need, sharing words of encouragement and connecting with opportunities to serve.

We can use the Internet as a channel to learn as so many assem­blies have websites with good studies and videos. I leave you with this parting thought: As a parent, be aware, always on guard, always ready to protect your children … but allow them room enough to grow leaves and stretch their branches with peace in knowing you gave them roots to withstand any storms that may come their way.

I often find comfort in letting go a bit by praying for my children. I am openly overprotective of them, but I am mindful not to hold on so tightly that they feel suffocated and without a voice of their own; I have learned how blessed it that I and my children are making decisions together … for lifelong learning. This pleases Yahweh and does not take away from raising them in the way they should go.

As parents we are teachers in many ways, more than reinforcing math facts or language arts basics—we are in this for the goal of entering the very Kingdom of Yahweh! Know that the world is rag­ing around us. A great evil is stirring as the end of days approach­es. Keep watch, dress yourself and your children in the full armor of Yahweh, and embrace Messiah Yahshua each day. Teach your children that even in the virtual world Yahweh is watching, and He expects them to act in a way that is good and right. The same goes for us as parents. Be the example.

May Yahweh bless you and keep you!

by: Amy Pletz

As a young girl growing up, I was nurtured by three important women in my life.  Each one of these special ladies had dynamic attributes that helped shape and mold who I am today.  Most of all, I admired their deep abiding faith in Yahweh.  Through many trials and heartaches, they never blamed or wavered in the strength of their faith in our heavenly Father and they kept Yahshua near their hearts.

I wish you could have met my grandmother, Mary.  She had a sweet rosy smile and beautiful white-as-snow hair, which I helped curl.  She didn’t come to the knowledge of the Name until near the end of her life.  Grandma’s faith was amazing.  Each year she faithfully read her Bible through and through until she wasn’t able to anymore.

I remember sitting at her feet under her old, but well-kept, sewing machine, watching the treadle move swiftly back and forth.  She would remind me never to sew on the “Sabbath” day because, as she put it, “Each stitch would go into Yahshua’s heart.”.  I still remember this and abide by it today…

The next special lady is my beautiful mother, Millie, with a heart of gold.  Now talk about faith and endurance!  Momma raised seven children, helped run a business, kept a spotless house, planted and canned produce from a huge garden and, most of all, taught me how to pray.

One cold, snowy Pennsylvania evening, my father left the house to plow snow.  As he turned to say goodbye he reminded us, “Be sure to keep the water dripping so the pipes won’t freeze.”.  As you can guess, with seven children in the house, someone turned off the spigot and the pipes froze.  We were all worried what Dad would say.  Our mother, never blinking an eye, got down on her knees without hesitation, telling us to do the same.  By the time we finished praying, the water shot out of the faucet like a rocket ship.  We all jumped up with joy, thanking Yahweh from the bottom of our hearts.

The third special lady in my life was my mother-in-law, Mil.  I loved to watch her laugh (I’m so glad she passed that trait on to her daughter, Linda).  Mil never worried about anything (well, maybe about her children, a little).  We always said Yahweh had angels watching over her – especially if you saw her drive!  She always knew everything would work out in its own time and that “everything will be all right.”.  It always was.  Mil’s faith was sweet, soft and private in many ways.  She taught me to “stay the course, believe in Yahweh and keep the faith.”  She fell asleep privately but never alone.  That is how she would have wanted it…

Yahweh in his Word shows us many examples of faith, and we must ourselves grow in faith for Him.  Hebrews 11:1 tells us, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  These loving sisters kept their vision toward their Father in heaven.  Their examples taught me never to give up.  Hebrews 11:6 says, “But without faith it is impossible to please him:  for he that comes to Elohim must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

Keep strong in your faith.  Show, by example, to your children and your children’s children the faith you have in Yahweh.  Put Yahweh first in all that you do – and I promise everything will be all right in the end.

by: Margie Mansager