Throughout my spiritual walk, I believe that Yahweh has always been watching over me. Looking back on certain events in my life, I can truly see that what Yahweh has done for me has led me to become a strong and an extremely blessed woman, and now, an even more blessed woman, newly immersed into the faith.
I have always been a writer, as far back as I can remember. Lately, I have been finding old journals from 2007-2010 and have been reflecting on what I had written then to where I am now. My writings to Yahweh back then have blessed me now. Following is something I wrote back in April 2010 (keep in mind, back then I was using the titles, but have inserted the Hebrew names now): “Yahweh is yet good to me. No matter what wrong I do, he is still there for me. Sometimes in church, I feel like just letting go and letting Elohim into my life, but I keep fighting the spirit. His conviction on me is so strong every time I do anything sinful. I know that I have a work to do with Yahweh. I just need to get my life right.” Even six years ago, He was yet blessing me and working with me. I am truly thankful that Yahweh has called me to this place and moment in time.
There are times that our faith still falters, even though Yahweh is working with us. As believers, we go through a number of struggles which could cause our faith to waver. Scripture tells us to hold fast to our faith. Hebrews 10:23: “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for his is faithful that promised).” I once purchased a portrait that says, “Faith makes things possible…not easy.” I believe this with my whole heart. This walk at times is not easy. However, this is where, I believe, unwavering faith comes in to play. James 1:6 – “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with wind and tossed.” When Yahshua called out to Peter and said, “Come,” Peter did not keep his eyes on Yahshua, which caused his faith to waver and he sank into the water. Matt 14:31 – “And immediately Yahshua stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, ‘O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?’” We must keep our eyes on our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Yahshua. You know that old saying; keep your eyes on the prize. Keep your heart fixed on Yahweh, for he wants someone with a humble heart and a heart set on Him. Psalms 57:7 – “My heart is fixed, O Yahweh, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.”
When I first started coming to YRM, I was afraid to show my praise. I was afraid of singing the worship songs. But Yahweh doesn’t want someone who is afraid. He wants someone with strong courage and scripture tells us to have courage. Deut 31:6 – “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for Yahweh thy Elohim, he it is that doth go with thee, he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
When the unwavering faith hits, or when we go through our struggles, so often we tend to focus on the negative aspects of things. Why do we focus on the negative, asking questions like, “Why can’t I have this?” or “Why am I not getting blessed with this?” or even, “When is this going to happen?” What I have learned in this faith is that we mustn’t focus on what we don’t have, but instead consider what we do have and on all we have been blessed with.
Many times we spend so much energy concentrating on what we don’t have, that we might miss a blessing from Yahweh. While we’re busy looking over “there,” our blessing is over “here” and, in a blink of an eye, we have missed it. We all have desires of our hearts and it is good to pray on these things. But if we make these desires the center of our attention and prayers, then I believe we are making these things our idols. Pray on the desires of your heart, then give it to Yahweh. Trust in Him. One of my favorite scriptures is Psalms 37:4-5 – “Delight thyself also in Yahweh; and he will give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto Yahweh; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” Notice that this scripture says to delight ourselves in Yahweh; it does not say delight ourselves in our desires.
When your heart and attention are on what you don’t have, then they are not on Yahweh. Keep your eyes fixed on Yahweh and He will provide. We must remember to trust that Yahweh is going to bless us with our heart’s desires. We must have faith in Him. And we also must know that it is not our will, but more importantly, it is His will. What He does for us is for His good. Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love Elohim, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
By: Jessica Leber